Working on old pain

There are phases which I have gone through when I experience Swami Vishwananda as very strict. His firmness makes me think that he doesn’t love me anymore, or that he loves everyone else much more. These, I have found, are always the times of developing, realising and learning. Swami Vishwananda puts us through these trials and tribulations so that we may work through our individual obstacles which hold us back from God. Eventually I realised that Swami had been working on an old pain I had to work through. There was a side of my ego he had to make me feel intensely, before I could really let go of it. In these situations the quickest way to get through it is to surrender the pain and just let it go without questioning it, without thinking Err, what’s wrong with him today? What have I done to make him treat me this way? Sumitra - Germany