When I moved in january 2009 as a resident to Springen, I had spent a life full of responsibilty as a therapist in a doctor’s office. There, I laughed and cried with my clients and it was a mixture of being a mother, homeopath, priest and veterinarian. Barely arrived in Springen, I was treated like the newborn baby of an extended family. The name ‚Digambari’ additionally gave me the association of an unorientated fawn.
On the first day after my arrival, the following story happened: At lunch, my brother Jyotir prepared himself an overfull plate.
He placed it in front of me and said „Eat“. So I took Jyotirs plate and started to eat. After eating half of it, I was already filled up, while Guruji turned around the corner and said, as if I was a baby „Digambari, eat !!“. But I was not hungry anymore… My brothers told me: „Come on, eat. You have to do, what He is saying…!“ But I really didn’t feel like that. Suddenly, Swami turned around the corner, saying „Digambari, there is so much misery in the world. Eat!!“ When He turned away, I noticed a smile and remembered the time of my childhood. More and more, the whole table was involved in that ‚movie’ and everybody wanted me to finish my plate. However, from the beginning, I had the feeling, that something completely different was meant. Suddenly it came into my mind, that I should eat Him, my Guru, symbolically and assimilate Him inside of me. I was just thinking of that, when Swami left the room and the issue was done. Later I wrote to Him: „You wanted me to eat You, but most of the time you are eating me.“ Like Ramana Maharshi said: „To see Him, is to be consumed by Him.“
Mataji Digambari